Letting him go
by SmilesAndLaughs
Summary: She loved and she lost. Now she is moving on, but when the truth comes out what happens to her relationship? Maya/Miles Cam/Maya


I missed him. I missed him so much that I couldn't bare the sight of his picture. I missed him. And hated him. He left me. No note. No explanation. He left me racking my brain as to why. Why would my boyfriend kill himself? What did I do? How could he? Of course I never blamed myself. I couldn't have known he was planning this. But I wish I did. If I did I could have stopped it. He would still be here. But he isn't. And I couldn't spend every waking moment wallowing in my own misery. Sooner or later I would be suffocating myself with the ideas of 'whys' and 'what ifs'. So after a few short months, I moved on.  
I had a new boyfriend now. He was handsome, sweet, a bad boy. He liked me for me.  
I walked to my locker. I opened it and pulled the books from it. Closing my locker I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I smiled.  
"Hey you." I said turning to face Miles.  
"Hey yourself." He smiled back then he gave me a kiss.  
"Missed you last night." I said. "Too busy to crawl through you own girlfriend's window in the middle of the night?"  
He chuckled and then sighed "Sorry I had a spat with my 'dear' father."  
"Oh." I said making things awkward.  
"I'm here now."  
"I'm glad"  
He smiled kissing me again.  
"Ew gross." Tristan said walking up to us. He stuck out his tongue and indicated throwing up. "Please tell me this lovey dovey thing isn't going to be happening all the time."  
"Sorry Tris." I rolled my eyes.  
"I don't mind PDA, do you Maya?" Miles smirked.  
I returned the look. "Not at all."  
Then we kissed again, this time drawing it out so that Tristan was uncomfortable.  
"Cute." He rolled his eyes.  
"We still on for movie night tomorrow night?" I asked Tristan.  
"Yeah... About that.." He trailed off.  
"Tristan!" I scolded.  
"Zoe got me into the premiere of White Lair! I couldn't just turn that down! Besides you could just hang out with Miles tomorrow night.."  
I sighed. He really didn't remember what day tomorrow was.  
"Yeah," Miles said grinning. "Just you and me tomorrow night."  
I smiled back. "Sounds great."  
Then the bell rang for first period.  
He kissed me once more. "Got to go to English. See you later?"  
I nodded. Miles walked away with his book in hand.  
"Time for geometry.. Yay.." Tristan said sarcastically. We walked and I made sure Miles was out of hearing range until punch Tristan in the arm. He let out a whimper.  
"What was that for?" He whined.  
"Did you happen to look at your calendar this morning?" I folded my arms across my chest.  
"Yeah, it's the 28th." He said furrowing his eyebrows.  
I raised my eyebrow and waited for him to figure out what the big deal was.  
I tapped my foot.  
"And that makes tomorrow..?"  
"The 29th?" He asked almost unsure of the fact.  
"Well?!" I said still waiting on him.  
"What?!" He said  
I slapped my forehead with my hand. "Think about it."  
I watched as his expression changed from confused to an unpleasant realization. "Oh... Cam's birthday..."  
"Yeah. Cam's birthday." I rolled my eyes at him.  
"I'm so sorry Maya... I forgot." He said.  
"That makes things better." I said sarcastically.  
"Do you want me to cancel? Because I can!"  
I sighed. "No, it's too late anyway."  
Then Zoe appeared from around the corner which we were standing at. She smirked, walking right past us. "You guys coming to class or what?" She smirked.  
"Ugh." I said.  
"It's just one class right?" Tristan smiled.  
"Yeah." I huffed.

Lunch came around, and I hadn't seen Miles all day. I assumed he just forgot to meet me after second period... and third period... and fourth. But when he didn't show up for lunch I started to feel neglected.  
I took out my phone. No messages, no calls.  
I stared at it confused.  
"What's wrong my-mat?" Tristan said noticing my reaction.  
"I haven't seen Miles since first period. He hasn't messaged or called me."  
"Miles? I saw him in the music room. I assumed that he texted you or something."  
I got up and collected my things. "I'll see you later."  
I made a beeline to the music room.

He sat playing his electric.  
"Hey" I said from the door frame.  
He looked up at me then back at the guitar. He kept silent and started strumming again.  
I watched confused for a minute. Then came to the conclusion that he was angry with me. "Did I do something wrong?"  
He didn't answer me.  
"Miles."  
He turned the guitar up a little to drown me out.  
"Miles!"  
He looked up at me angrily.  
"Will you just leave?!"He practically yelled at me.  
"Not until you talk to me!" I crossed my arms.  
"Fine."  
He put down the electric.  
"Who is Cam?" He asked.  
My heart dropped. He knew.  
"What?" I asked with an expressionless face.  
He laughed sarcastically at me.  
"Zoe told me... and I didn't believe her. Until I just saw that look on your face." He grabbed his backpack. My heart began to beat rapidly. "I'm out of here."  
I stepped out in front of him..  
"Wait." I said as fresh tears trailed down my face. He waited for me to speak. I tried to muster up the right words.  
"Well?" He huffed.  
"I-Its not what you're thinking." More tears came rushing down.  
"Then who the hell is he?" He yelled.  
"Cam, is my ex." I wipe away my tears.  
"Your ex? And you celebrate his birthday? Okay, you don't have to explain any more. I'm done." He picked up his things with his right hand and walked away.  
I just watched. I wasn't going to chase after him. I tried to explain and he rushed away. I didn't need someone like that.  
Tristan had come around the corner just in time to see Miles leaving and me crying.  
He rushed over to me.  
"What happened?" He asked as he sat down beside me.  
"I-I" I choked on my words, I couldn't breathe. All I could do was choke out one word. "Zoe."  
Tristan because suddenly enraged. "What about Zoe?"  
"She-" I tried to calm myself. I took in a few breaths. "She told Miles- I- I was- Cheating- With Cam."  
"Why would she think that?" He asked. He waited for me to collect myself again.  
"She heard us talking about Cam's birthday."  
"What about Miles? Did you tell him the truth?"  
I shrugged. "I Tried."  
"He didn't listen to you?"  
I wiped off my cheeks and looked up at him to see determination in his face. I shot him a confused look.  
"Tris-"  
"I have to talk to him." He stood.  
"No, don't"  
"No one. Makes my My-Mat cry."  
He walked down the hall where Miles went and I followed, but stopped when I saw Miles. Tristan walked right up to him.  
"You!" He pointed a finger at Miles. "I don't know what Maya told you, but you either fix this or stop talking to her."  
"Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow. "She is the one who is still-"  
"There you go making assumptions. Maya doesn't need someone like you in her life. She has been through enough. She doesn't need someone to makes her cry."  
He looked up at me and I blushed embarrassed.  
"Look, I-" he was cut off by Tristan again.  
"No. You look! Campbell Saunders was Maya's world! And he died, so maybe you should have some respect." Tristan said. he basically spat the word out at him.  
I let out a gasp, 'He really just said that?'. I didn't know why, but I felt hurt. I was going to tell Miles anyway, but for some reason it stung. Maybe it was the fact that he had more guts to spit it out then I did.  
Miles looked up at me with astonished expression. His green eyes grew wide with this sudden revelation.  
"What?" He asked in shock.  
I stood there for a moment, just as they did. Tristan could see clearly that I was hurt. Not just by Miles, by him also.  
"How could you?" My heart skipped a beat as I looked back at Tristan.  
Miles took a hesitant step forward.  
"Maya, I-"  
"No." I took a step back. He began to walk towards me again. "No."  
I repeated then I turned away quickly. Before I knew what I was doing I broke out into a full on run out of the the hallway.  
"Maya!" I heard from behind me. I picked up my pace. I ran out of the building. Down the street. Up the sidewalk. I didn't even know where I was going. Not until I was already there.  
I looked behind me. No one in sight. My hand shook as I opened the gate to the cemetery. I knew where his grave sight was, though it had been months since I last came. I saw fresh flowers on his tombstone.  
Technically he was sent back to his family, but there was a grave sight here too. I guess for all the people who wanted to see him with having to travel hours away.  
I sat down crossing my legs.  
"Hey." I said to the tombstone. My fingers traced the outline of the picture they put of Cam."I know it's been a while." I scratched the back of my head."I'm sorry about that. I've been sorta busy, you know?..." I sighed. I wiped away tears, but they still hadn't stopped. "I guess you know that though... Look Cam, ... This isn't easy for me. I miss you. Every single day...  
I feel like people set this expectation for me to get over you... To be honest it's something I expect myself... But it's so hard. I still love you. But I love him too..." I sniffed. ".. I'm just sorry I didn't see the signs... Why did you do it,Cam? Why did you leave?" I let my head fall to the ground and my arms wrapped around it. I let my self cry. It was something I had been holding in for months. "I love you and I hate you... And I miss you..."  
I felt a hand on my back. I didn't bother to see who it was. I just kept still, or as still as I could be.  
"What are you doing here?" I asked.  
Miles' voice followed mine.  
"I followed you," He rubbed my back.  
" I thought I made it clear I don't want to talk to you..." I said, my words not even convincing me that I wanted to be alone.  
"Since when do you expect me to follow the rules?" I could tell he was smirking.  
I gave no response.  
"Maya look I'm so sorry."  
I only sniffed.  
"I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so fast and you obviously weren't ready to tell me, but I pushed you to. I'm a jerk. I know"  
I sat up. "Jerk? Try ass!"  
"Hey!" He said pretending to have hurt feelings.  
"An ass, who I happen to really really like." I smirked.  
"Oh ho ho. Just like?" He winked. "Or looooveee?"  
"Shut up." I punched him playfully.  
He smiled. "I love you too, Matlin, Maya Matlin."  
I giggled. Then I launched forward into his chest causing him and I to fall backward. He let out an 'oooouuf'.  
"Sorry!" I sat up. " Didn't meant to hurt you."  
"I'm fine." He pulled me into his chest. I just laid there peacefully. He kissed my forehead. "I really am sorry Maya. I'm an idiot."  
"Can you just take me home, please?" I sat up. He sat up right after I did.  
"Yeah sure." He brushed the hair from my face. "Anything for you."  
He smile reassured me. He wasn't going anywhere. I was sure of that.


End file.
